Jafar Hussain, Birmingham National Crime Applications Team Supervisor
“In life and in work I find conversations more meaningful.”
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do in a conversation is… say nothing. It’s easy to jump in with advice, solutions, or just to avoid an awkward silence. But learning to hold back, to really listen and give others space to think, can completely change how you connect with people, both at home and at work.
Jafar shared how this shift made a huge difference in his relationship with a niece who was about to leave school. She had no motivation and didn’t put much effort into her classes. But instead of pointing out what was wrong and instead focussed on listening and creating space for his niece to focus on her strengths—what she was good at, what made her light up. By asking the right questions and just listening, something amazing happened. “The eye rolls turned into tears, and eventually, a real passion and ideas about career paths started to take shape.”
It was a similar story at work. As someone who used to feel anxious in silences and who would talk just to fill the gap, Jafar has learned to embrace the pause. He realised that he wasn’t really helping others by jumping in and just trying to ease my own discomfort. Now, by speaking less and listening more, he’s seen colleagues grow in confidence and motivation which is positively impacting on their work particularly around new challenges.
And the changes don’t stop there. Jafar now is able to, as Susan Scott says ‘let silence do the heavy lifting’. This shift in mindset for Jafar has had a ripple effect: more meaningful conversations, more confidence, and even a willingness to go after new opportunities in life and work.
Creating space in conversations isn’t about doing less. It’s about doing something more powerful: giving others the space to think for themselves and grow whilst giving ourselves the chance to truly connect.